It's 9/11

It's 9/11.

I remember that day well. I won't go into all the details but I will say that it  had a HUGE impact on my life. For weeks, I was terrified to go to work (and lost my job). I was terrified to send my girls to school. I was terrified to watch my husband pull out of the driveway every morning (I made him call me on a schedule throughout the day...if he missed a call, I went into a panic attack). I was almost hospitalized due to the stress. I watched the videos over and over and over and over and over and...well, you get the idea. I would sit up all night, watching those people fall from the windows of Tower 2 as it was played over and over on the news channels. Just writing about it gives me chills.

On the first anniversary of 9/11, I was watching the memorial on television with my mother and she made the most profound statement, one that has stuck with me since then..."Why do they continue to show these pictures? Don't they know the families who lost their loved ones in those attacks are devastated enough without having to watch it all over again?" Then she made me turn it off.

Since then, I've put a lot of thought into it and realized just how right she was. If I had lost a loved one in those attacks, the last thing I would want to do is relive it every year. Having a memorial for someone is one thing but reliving it is completely different. If your loved one was killed in a car accident, would you want to watch a video of that accident every year on the anniversary of the day it happened? Not me.

So, as for 9/11. I DO remember those who lost their lives on that dreadful day. I DO pray for those who's live were horribly alerted due to the cruelty of a group of people with no care or concern for others. I DO feel a heaviness on this day every year. However, I DO NOT watch the memorials. I DO NOT look at the still photos. I DO NOT read the 'where are they not' articles in the news. I DO NOT let myself get stressed or anxious knowing the date and what COULD happen.

Those are my feelings about this day.